Over Dictatorship and Coffee

I have never had much to say. All the things I have to say are usually speeding past in my mind, and I don't think anyone could keep up anyway, so on a general everyday basis, I choose to keep quiet.

But off late, the universe has played this dirty little trick on me, urging me to make up for all my anti-social behavior by crossing my path with someone who doesn't have much they'd like to share with the entire world either [or so it seems]. See that works just fine with me, I like quiet. So long as no one's trying to shatter the bliss that silence and I share, with their incessant yakking, I'm good.
But what now when my drudge-y  feet have led me to this other human being, sharing planet earth with me, also unwilling to talk. And this ridiculously un-understandable need from within this solitary head of mine, to converse with this very individual.
"Why god why!!!" I ask myself with emphatic exaggeration. And God simply laughs.

So there I am, with my lots to say -but nothing you may want to hear anyway- self, in this odd new situation that I've found myself in- vis a vis: actually wanting to talk to someone.

Of course I failed. And miserably at that. See this kind of maneuvering needs practice. You have got to have a strategy to make something like this work. And that is one place I lose out on.  If I ask myself, how would I make me talk? The only thing I can think of is- I'd leave me alone. Golden.

This now brings me to a moment of silence, I honestly feel a little sad for anyone who has ever tried to have a conversation with me. I now understand how you may have felt. And I'm sorry.
And therefore, I am led to my zippy new, new year's resolution- Talk to everyone who wants to talk to me.
Okay good, so that's one lesson learned. But that still leaves me with my little problem here. How do you crack this code? To get someone so overtly quiet, to respond.

So I try again, because *somehow* this stupid me -who I was hoping to leave behind in good ol 2010,  managed to slowly slip right into 2011 too- and doesn't want to give up. I mean I'm queen of giving up for crying out loud, there is not one thing in the history of this very chaotic life that I have lived so far that can stand testimony to my perseverance. I give up, it's what I *dooo*.. it's one of  my *things*, then why in tarnation can I not give this one up?
I don't know. I'm still trying to figure that one out.
****
And then it happened, with my new found sense of keen persistence, and lots of patience: a cup of coffee and conversation with the person who can maybe even beat me in this whole not talking thing. I have finally met my match. And though I dreaded the silence, I braved forth swearing to god and all things living, that I would make the most of my measly one hour and coffee.
And what do you know- we actually talked. For the first time, it almost seems as though this curious other who lives on planet earth with me, wants to know what I have to say. Okay so I'm surprised. Shocked, among other things.
But still acutely aware that this is one tough cookie to crack.
And so. over badly made cold coffee that was supposed to be chocolate flavoured in the first place, some evidently bad smoked chicken, cigarettes and a quirky deceleration of a lack of faith in democracy; we made some good conversation this being and I. Amidst their love for dictatorship, and my idealistic-give everyone a chance rant, talk happened.

What I don't know now, is if it will happen again. I wasn't just kidding when I said this one was one tough cookie. I don't know if I should keep trying, or let the silence that keeps me miles apart from the world, fill up this little opening too.

I'm going to let time answer that. But truth be told, I don't want silence this time.