Germination

School was a riot, what with sitting in the back bench all throughout, drawing faces on the wall; listening to the "devil's music" and wondering why I was born in the wrong place at an entirely wrong time.

When questions became the meaning of my life, I do not know. But they did. And the quest for answers began.

It's hard wondering what it is that needs to be done. Do I take that job? Is it worth it? Are there really no jobs in the "market", should I not be daft and take what I get? Is this REALLY what I want to do? WHAT do I want to do? Will I EVER be able to do it? What if I only THINK I want to do this, when I really don't? Interesting isn't it?

When did questions get this hard? From the simple, should I take this bus to school, will my friends be on it? And I wonder what XYZ of the opposite sex [or not], thinks of me to complicated, entwining, one question leading to two other- questions...How did that happen?

Relationships didn't have so many levels. The cold wall level, superficial level, thin ice, liquid water and most often, hardened rock. This strange undulation that keeps taking place from person to person, situation to situation. I think as ill-equipped as we may think we are, we're all pretty good at the Game that us humans have made life all about.

How silly, these institutions we've created seem sometimes, be it religion, the constitution,boundaries, and so many others, we're all so afraid; and all we need is answers. We're caught up in a world that exists in its order only because of definitions. So is the order only an illusion? Wouldn't it be easy to say, this is all unreal, it is all an illusion?

But it isn't. THIS , is as real as it gets. And everything is relative.

Our definitions, our demarkations, our ideas and ideals are all relative. Our principles and morals too. There is no universal answer. The magnificent beings that we are, we are born with the ability to make our own answers. Find our own meanings. But we get trapped by shallow conditioning and this ludicrous belief that what is a majority is right. Incorrect.

There is no need for a majority. And therefore, no need for assurance brought about by the fact that 'everybody's doing it.' The possibilities of such an understanding are limitless.

I think, that if we allow the questions to sink in, and not panic at the loss of an answer, the answer sculpted for us, will find its way...all we need to do is, keep our minds open.